Thursday, September 20, 2007

Why I Love My Momma!

I love my mom for so many different and unique reasons. She is so to be admired. Her energy, loyalty, love, and stylish flair are just so magnetic. Since I was a child she is the only person I have been able to be completely honest with. She has taught me what unconditional love looks and feels like. The way she loves all four of her children equally is the way I want to love my kids one day. The way she dances and laughs like no one is watching makes you giddy from the inside out. She has taught me so many great things in life just by living her life well. I know how to have fun because of my momma. I know how to laugh from my gut because of my momma. I know how to work hard and have faith because of my momma. I am fearless because of my momma. Growing up I always felt that I could do anything. I did not feel any limits on what I could accomplish because of the amount of love and encouragement she invested in me. I also admire the imperfections in my momma. Realizing my momma was human gave birth to empathy and compassion in my heart. Knowing your momma is not perfect keeps you from being so hard on yourself and the rest of the world. My momma is bold, loud and cute. She showed me that it was okay to be all three. Her consistent willingness to grow and admit that although most times she is right she can be wrong is a rare quality I work hard to acquire every day. She is not just my momma, she is my hero. I don't know why my father decided not to stick around but I am so glad my momma did. It is one of the many reasons why I love my momma!

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Tie Another Knot!

Whenever I am going through something my mom always tells me to tie another knot. Basically, don't ever give up and throw in the towel. Now some periods of my life that knot was big as hell. Kinda like, now. I have been searching for a new job and it is hell. Depression is around every corner. The only thing that makes me smile is when that Humera commercial comes on singing "I will be here. I will be strong." I laugh out loud and find another burst to keep plowin forward. On the outside I appear like I do in this picture. You know, smiling, as to say taa dahh everything is fine. When really they are not. The problem is I want to move away from working 70 plus hours a week like I did on The Tyra Banks Show, but I still want to work in the world of entertainment. I just want to get off at a decent time like 6:00 pm, (really 5pm) and own my weekends. A tall order if you are in this industry. But it's what I want and what I am seeking. Why can't I have exactly what I want? I mean, really. I'm not being cocky I really have paid my dues, sometimes twice. I went to school like I was supposed to. Shoot, I even completed my master's degree by the time I was 24. I interned at major companies like Sony and BET. When I moved to LA I did like many others and hustled entry level work for horrible pay. And not without a grumble. I was happy to just get my foot in the door. And all to be sitting here unemployed. Give me a break!I sure hate to complain, but it is just where I am right now. I know and expect things to get better for me. But I just want to say even when you follow all the so-called rules and get the degrees and do the shitty work, you still can be looking up from the ground saying, "What the fuck?" And on top of everything it seems people resent you for having an education. Like, do you think you are better than me because you have a master's degree? Uh no, I just think damn! I can't believe I actually finshed grad school. I hated it so much that I thought I would quit halfway thru. Degrees are supposed to help you not hurt you. Even my grandmother who was the smartest woman I knew and only had a 6th grade education stressed how it was important for me to go to school. Where are the props? I'm so glad I 'm know not look for any. I went to school for myself, so I'm not really looking for a cheering section, (even though it would be nice) but I am not looking to be booed either. Some have said, you know it's not about education anyway it's all about the experience you have. Gotchya! If you saw my resume you would know I have so much experience that I don't even need to list my degrees. So why am I unemployed? I have no idea. I will have to look back to understand the whys of this time in my life. Right now I am stumped, pissed, and on a bad day very bitter. But I will end with what I tell other people, and ultimately myself when things seemed to be fucked up and unfair. Hang in there Q and don't give up. Things will come around. Visualize what you want and focus on it. Soon what is going on now will be replaced with what you want it to be so be positive and detailed about what you want to happen. I am really thankful for God and his presence in my life because it is God who sees me though all darkness. So basically, if you are feeling bitter, you know like me, or having a pity party, you know like me, remember that this too shall pass. In the meantime tie another knot!

Thursday, August 16, 2007

My Best Friend Tam

I was never the girl who had noone to play with. I always had a lot of people to kick it with thru the years, but I never really had a best friend, until I met Tam (check out her blog on the right). There are a few special relationships from my past that I thought were best friends, but in reality I was their best friend. They were never mine. I never felt like anyone other than my mother really had my back, until I met Tam and we became close. Noone has ever showed up for me in the way that she has. Having a best friend has been a wonderful thing. I know that I have had some really close connections with people, but most of my life I have just been loosely connected to random folx. Great bonds require great investment. The returns on that investment is something that money can never buy. I always loved films and TV shows that demonstrated great friendship. Beaches is actually my favorite movie because of that reason. But it was something that I didnt think I would share with anyone. Well thank God, I was wrong. Why is Tam my best friend? Well, when I was drunk she made sure I got home safetly. When my car broke down she came to my rescue and followed me with the tow truck to the mechanic. When I was scared and had to go to any serious doctor's appointments she came with me. She could never imagine forgetting my birthday. In fact, she took off work to celebrate with me. When my mother had a stroke she stopped whatever she was doing, drove to my crib, gave me a hug, and told me everything was going to be alright. I am for the most part a very happy, confident, and strong person. You know that girl who always seems to be in a good mood no matter whats going on, well, that was/is me. But I'm human and I have my share of hard times and bad days. Most people I know can't imagine me being down. And if they could they had no idea how to be there for me. Well, Tam did. And she didn't buy me saying I was okay when I really wasn't. She stayed when everyone else left. For the first time I knew what it meant to have a best friend and not just be one. I finally felt what I gave. I used to want a million best friends. My friendship with Tam has taught me, you only really need one.

Dogs In LA

I have lived in LA for three years now. I have never seen people so in love with their dogs. I am getting used to it now. But when I first moved here I was heated about it! It seemed like people thought because they loved Spot you were supposed to love him too. Not so! Isn't there a leash law? When I would go to run at the park dogs would be running everywhere. Owners would only coral their pets when I shot them a dirty look as to say "You better get that dog away from me!" You could tell they would be shocked. Most people come up to their dogs whether they know the owner or not like the dog is a baby in a stroller. I am from the Midwest so this is all new. I am used to dogs being in the back yard not in your car or purse. And in LA it starts with dogs, but peoples' love for animals extends to squirrels, birds, and any other thing that lives outside. I had to get a gym membership because I hated how the squirrels would come up to you expecting a meal. I think what made me calm down was someone I knew got a dog. His cuteness won me over, but not enough to get one of my own, or go back to the park. See you at the gym!

What was Whitney really like?

Meeting Whitney Houston on MTV was a childhood dream come true. Since that happened fellow Whitney fans have asked me all kinds of questions about what she was really like. This post is for you. Honestly, Whitney was cool as hell. I had prepared myself to be disappointed because celebrities usually aren't as wonderful as you see on TV. Some stars can be real assholes, but thank God Whitney wasn't. Scroll down and watch my interview with her.

How long did you spend with Whitney?
During my interview with Whitney producers wanted me to wrap it up way earlier than I actually did. I spent close to an hour with Whitney, and I guess that was too long. I remember saying"Oh my bad"to Whitney. I could tell MTV wanted to rush me away from her. Whitney shot them a look as to say "Ah hell to the naw, Q is cool." Whitney then looked at me and said "You're fine don't worry about them." That is when I knew who was really in charge and it wasn't MTV. I didn't meet the Whitney everyone saw on Being Bobby Brown, but when she gave the producers that look I knew that Whitney existed.
Have you had any contact with Whitney since your interview?
I have seen Whitney a total of four times including the MTV interview. The last time I seen her was in NYC. We were staying at the same hotel and I had no idea until I ran into Robyn Crawford, Whitneys friend, at a celebrity basketball game, hosted by Queen Latifah. She told me she would make sure we hooked up and she kept her word. It was cool and unexpected.
Another time I sent Whitney a birthday gift with a card including my phone number. This was after the interview, so thankfully she really got the gift, and really did know who I was. Do you know she called me and left a phone number to call her back! As a die hard Whitney fan this was the shit! To come from being a nameless, faceless fan, to a phone call, incredible. Yeah, that was cool. When she called me she got my sister and told her everything she wanted to tell me. Damn, why wasn't I home?

How did the MTV interview even happen?
I sent in a broke down tape to the show telling why I was the perfect fan to interview Whitney. I was told by the creators of the show that they sent that very tape to Whitney's camp to get her to actually do the show. They received hundreds of tapes from fans. They sent about ten to Whitney including mine for her to choose who she wanted to meet. She chose me. This is why this interview will always be a special moment in my life. Not just that it happened, but how it happened.
Were you nervous? Was Whitney nervous?
I was sooooo nervous. On the other side of the cameras were lots of people packed into that studio. I mean this is Whitney Houston, and people may diss her, but when she's right there in front of you, noone had a bad thing to say. Everyone wanted to be in her presence (not just me). My mouth was dry from nerves and my insides felt like jello. Whitney didn't seem nervous but I think in her head she was like how is this really going to go? Was I really going to be this crazy crying fan? I prayed before going in there to be the same Q I was with my peeps at home. All I can say is, prayer works.

What do you really think Whitney is like?
I think Whitney was never the flawless princess I thought she was as a kid. She's that person you want to have your back. If she loves you then you would never find a better more loyal cool ass friend. If not, I think she could be cold as ice. If you cross her, I believe it won't be good. However, I think it would take some real foul ass shit for her to cut you off, because before she gets to her limit, she seems to be a pretty forgiving person. Regardless, of all of her public and private issues connected to drugs and rehab, she is still someone you would always want to know because her heart is pure. I think she would give you the shirt off her back if you needed it. I could never diss Whitney because she is the real deal and there are just not many for real peeps out there famous or otherwise. Anybody who has really got the opportuntiy to hang out with her knows this to be true.